my brother and sister in law have blogs dedicated to my baby niece, Whitney.. and i honestly have to be really careful about when i read them because i get so emotional afterwards. this week has been so hectic and i haven't been keeping up with it lately like i should and i broke down tonight to catch up.. and my heart is just so broken. which i feel like i almost have no right to feel this way, but i do. i'm so angry and so sad and just everything. i can't even explain to you how awesome sean and shey are - i could only wish to half their composure, faith, and patience if i ever face a situation like this. my heart hurts so much for them and i wish more than anything everything will work out perfectly and this would have been a bad dream.. i know they say that G-d never gives you something you can't handle, and i'm definitely not saying that they can't handle this, but seriously... this is ridiculous. they are going to be such wonderful parents and they already are - i just wish they would be able to enjoy the fruits of their labor for many many years to come. i know that G-d will bless them in the future, but i'm being selfish for them and asking why not now?
i know that i sound so ridiculously selfish, and i know that other people go through so much more than this, but i'm so angry. down right angry. i'm trying so hard right now to understand and to be okay with this, but i'm not getting very far. i just get even more angry. *insert angry grunt .. or something* hah.
i just ask for prayers.
ps- if you're wondering about the G-d.. i've been reading a lot of religious literature lately, and one of the authors for a piece on Judaism refuses to spell out God's name, so she uses the -, and i really like that lol
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